Harald Juhnke Memorial
slightly tipsy and no appointments
This square is a fitting match for a tragic Berlin hero. If you look up the memorial to Harald Juhnke on Google Maps, the first visitor comment reads, “a sad, small, crap-covered square”– and that captures it perfectly.
The monument itself stands at the edge of a green space which is unfortunately trashed and littered by local residents, marginalized social groups, and their dogs. You can smell the dogs’ pungent efforts if you walk here beside the Panke – just watch where you step.
The BSR (Berlin's sanitation department) doesn't stand a chance here despite all its hip and cool advertising slogans.
Harald Juhnke – a quintessential Berliner who worked as an entertainer, singer, presenter, actor, and voice actor – went to school and grew up in this very area, in the Soldiner Kiez, a rundown part of Wedding, which is already rundown.
“That’s life,” Juhnke’s motto, is inscribed on the memorial stone, as if blaming him for his own fate after it ended.
His most famous quote describing the ultimate state of happiness is actually “having a bit of a buzz and no appointments,” but the memorial folks likely decided against this inscription for reasons of piety.
Juhnke could have been the German Sinatra with his exceptional talent if he hadn’t boozed so hard – it’s always the problem in Berlin. Uncontrolled alcohol consumption accompanied his entire career and slammed many a door in his face until the year 2000, when the last brain cell was finally drowned. Korsakoff’s syndrome, the dementia of the alcoholic.
His excesses were legendary. The Neue Deutsche Welle band Extrabreit sang:
"Yes, we have an idol, Harald Juhnke /
He won’t fall off his chair in front of us, Harald Juhnke.”
In the end, unfortunately, he did exactly that.
Because of Juhnke’s reputation and lifestyle, he’s denied the honor of having streets, squares or buildings named after him, even though far worse scoundrels have been honored in this way. So, sadly, only this grubby square remains.
His death on April 1, 2005 took another element of tragedy because it was followed by the passing of Pope John Paul II. So Juhnke had to share the front pages of the tabloids that had previously torn him to shreds (while making a fine living off him) with his Holycopterness. No doubt the two of them are partying together somewhere, far from this shit-covered square.
📍 Fordoner Str. 4, 13359 Berlin
