Wurst-case-scenario
You get the feeling the wurst is yet to come at the abandoned Curry Queen Imbiss in Ruhleben. But it can’t get any wurst, and maybe that’s the problem.
A bunch of BVG double-decker buses has gathered up outside, waiting so long now they’ve started to rust, rot and disintegrate. Everything has an end – only a sausage has two. It makes the wait interminable.
Though they may not know it, it’s terminal for the buses. They’re locked into what can only be described as a tawdry bus graveyard ill befitting of such loyal servants of the city. Try telling them the wurst is yet to come! It can’t get any wurst.
This is how Berlin treats its heroes. The scoundrels are placed upon pedestals, fêted and given prizes by the Bild shitrag and corrupt politicians. The heroes are used, abused and shat out on the scrapheap.
What of the Curry Queen? Where did her loyal subjects go? There’s nothing to even mark her passing in the local papers, none of them worthy of kissing her curry-powdered boots.
You’d think the downfall of a queen would generate significant media interest – a royal fart is usually enough to trigger 24-hour wall-to-wall coverage and prognosis for the monarchy – but there’s nothing at all on the demise of the Curry Queen, not a sausage. Evidently, she didn’t leave an heir. No need to curry favor.
A calendar from some long-forgotten year hangs on the wall, the floor is dirty, the counter bare. Giant spiders guard the open doors. They’re called spinners in German, which is also what they call crazy people – “Eh, du Spinner! Hor auf damit!” But if you say that to a spider, they’ll just look at you like you’re the crazy one. And they’d be right.
They must have been crazy to abandon such a fine establishment – the proprietors, not the spiders. In the absence of hard facts, one can only surmise they were abducted mid-currywurst by aliens puzzled by the logic-defying gourmet combination. A flying cardboard platter suddenly appeared in the sky and scooped everything up, humans and all, to take them to another world for analysis. It’s the only reasonable conclusion.
The buses won’t talk, terrified of repercussions. Who knows what awful things they witnessed? They look pretty shook, with broken windows, torn seats, and wheels overtaken by weeds. Cobwebs cover the steering wheels.
Signs above the drivers’ seats warn passengers not to speak to the driver, which must be why German bus drivers look at you like you’ve three heads if you thank them when you get off the bus.
Ruhleben means quiet life in German and it’s apt for this forgotten part of Berlin. It’s evidently a good long while since the Curry Queen made her retirement. You could get two currywurst AND a portion of pommes AND a coffee for €4 before she closed. Imagine how much they’d cost now! You couldn’t even get a pomme thrown in your face for €4 now. But sure, blame the immigrants.
For the record, there’d be no curry and no pommes at all if it wasn’t for immigrants. Germans would still be eating muck on sticks if immigrants hadn’t come to save them. But that didn’t stop the kebab-filled Spandau locals from voting for the AfD, like turkeys voting for Christmas. Maybe the wurst is yet to come.
As for the Curry Queen, who knows what happened? Unfortunately, this story is lost in the greasy mists of currywurst lore.
Location and access (How to find guide)
What: The Curry Queen abandoned currywurst joint with a double-decker bus graveyard out the back.
Where: Freiheit 29, 13597 Bezirk Spandau
How to get there: Hop on your bike and cycle if you want to avoid mosquitos on the U-Bahn. Otherwise get the U2 to Ruhleben and walk from there. Here it is on a map: https://www.mapquest.com/de/berlin/berlin/13597/29-freiheit-52.52925,13.23448
When to go: Go soon before it’s knocked down for exclusive “state-of-the-art” luxury apartments surrounded by a high steel fence to keep commoners out.
Difficulty rating: 2/10. You’ll have to bend a bit to get in through the missing wood panel at the front.
Who to bring: Bring your kids if they like abandoned buses and spiders. Just mind the broken glass
What to bring: Drinks and snacks. You’ll have to cook your own currywurst.
Dangers: Watch out for nosy busybodies, this country is full of them, just itching for someone to do something wrong so they can let loose and shout at them about the errors of their ways. Even in godforsaken Ruhleben you have these types roaming around trying to keep Ordnung.
Thanks as always to Mark Rodden for keeping Ordnung with the text. No AI slop on these pages. Any errors are all his fault.
Filed 30/10/2026
